期待下一次的冒险

曾以为找到了安定的美丽岛屿，也以为岛上有这我人生的最大宝藏。结果一切只是个虚假的幻觉。所以我再一地回到船上，扬起了海盗的旗子。拉起船锚放下风帆，继续我在海洋的冒险旅程。我坚信着总有一天，我会找到我的人生最宝贵的宝藏。想与海盗来场战争吗？

Pirate， another adventure.
Once before I found a beautiful island, a safe harbor. A place with my life great treasure. Too bad it just a illusion. I am back on my ship again, raise up my flag. Pick up anchor and started my sailing on the blue sea, continue my life adventure to the wild ocean. I believe that one day, I will found great treasure on an island in my life. Wanna play with this pirate?

叶子，风，树

叶子的离开,是风的追求,还是树的不挽留.
叶子，风，树。我是哪一个？

Leaf is leaving, is it because of wind's pursue or the tree didn't urge.
Leaf,wind & tree. Which am I?

Is time to playing game get FUN.

Know your woman.

When a girl has menophania, which mean she entering another stage in her life. I am believe excluding men, most of the women don’t really know their menstrual cycle, or are they with eumenorrhea? 40% of women having menstrual disorder issue, but how many of them having medical treatment with care? As guy, please understand this for your love one. Menorrhagia may cause by mentality or physiological action. Mentality including pressure, environment change, despearate, worried and distressed. Physiological cause may split to 2 part, illness and medication. Illness need medical check and treatment. Medication may cause by side effect like taking Postinor2 or IUD installation and more...

If you not prepared for pregnant or plan for children, please ask him use comdom. Refer to my thread at forum.

Sexual education

Menophania

呼吸大自然的力量

六月十一日, 我计划一个人去关丹度假. 呼吸大自然的力量,从新开始向自己的目标前进.预定会住在Hyatt Regency Kuantan Resort. 一个非常适合我去面对的过往，牵制不少回忆的地方。蓝天白云，碧海沙滩。我会找颗椰树亲手埋了应该了断而且属于这颗树的记忆。让我的遗憾成为不会发芽的种子，伴着椰树。你能那么短时间做出果断的决定，相信我也不能花更多时间。

我的遗憾，2002年我们应该早在热浪岛互相认识。我应该看到你穿三点式泳装在巴厘岛上。（非常遗憾。。。）很高兴你没有在暴喝红酒了。

Time for me to take the natural charge.
I was planned going to Kuantan for a natural trip. Take the charge and moving forward for my life. I am booking Hyatt regency resort, the resort name recalled and a meanful location for me review the past. Blue sky, white cloud, deep sea and the beach. Almost the places in our memories around that atmosphere. I will find a coconut tree and bury everything should belong to it under the tree. With my regrets company the tree without grown. You can make the decision in short time, I believe i won't take longer than you.

My regrets, we should met each other early at 2002 Pulau Redang. I should watch you wearing bikini running at Bali beach. ( Very regretted) I am glad that you not hard drinking red wine lately. Look at the picture, so beautiful and nice place.

红色高跟鞋

刚刚听到一句，“男人总是喜欢在女人身上探索，切忘了去探索女人的心”。这让我想起了红 色高跟鞋，女人明知道穿高跟鞋会造成脚部麻痹酸痛。但是她们还是喜欢穿高跟鞋。这份挥之不散的关系是女人的最明白的。探索女人的心可会付出更大的代价，因 为女人心就像海底针。所以呢，男人还是专心地在女人身上探索比较好。

人人们都在把更好的物质生活当成人生目标，逐渐的忽略了精神生活和信仰。凡是都以利益为重，人与人之间的关系都建立在利用价值上。灰姑娘不再期待玻璃鞋，美丽公主已经穿着平底鞋到处跑了。保险比男人更有保障。

Red high heel shoe.
Someone just told me that, "Guy always explore on woman body, but forgotten to explore her mind." This bring me about red high heel shoe. They know how pain to wear a pair of high heel shoe but they still want to weat it. They well understand what they want. Big price to pay to explore she heart when she don't want to be. Woman heart like a needle in deep sea. Better way is, guy keep explore on woman body.

Nowday, a lot of people wanted higher class of living life, this almost let them forget the spirit of life and believe. The relationship of the people is build on the profit, money. Cinderella never wait for her glass shoe, Beautiful princess was wear sport shoe running everywhere. An insurance policy more assure their life than a man.

特别的母亲节

差点忘了母亲节，可惜她老人家飞去沙巴游玩了没有庆祝这节日。以下是她们给我的安慰。

家母：早点分手早点找新的，不要浪费时间。
契母：她不懂得珍惜你是她的错误的决定。
戴母：好好照顾自己，记得吃饭。旧的不去新的不来。
契母的老母（老不死的）：考虑一下我芙蓉的孙女。
两个女儿的母亲：她独自开心，你在难过什么。

哈哈哈。。。看来我周围都不乏女人，谢谢了。

A special mother day
Almost forgotten this mother day, I didn't celebrated this event with my mum because she flied to Sabah for vacation. Some consolation i get from those mother.

My mum : Is good to break off early, don't waste your time.
My god mother : She don't know to cherish you was her mistake.
Your mum: Take good care yourself, remember to eat. Maybe is time to change.
My god mother's mother : Try to consider my granddaughter at seremban.
A mother with two daughter : Why you have to sad when she is enjoying her life.

Hahaha... a special warming mother day for me. Thank you all.

Terrible day at bookshop

Today I went to book shop walk around and try to get a new book for myself. Inattentionly I found this book, 28 tell tale signs of a cheating spouse. About how to intent your spouse is cheating or not, as youe own private detective. First thing cross in my mind is, Elena should read this book. Unlikely i found another book on next shelf, How to Have an Affair and Never Get Caught by Charlotte Hartford. Both book can look like a humor, interesting story book but not for personal plan. The more terrible thing is, I found another book named How to date young sexy girl. I am fainting with my discovery on this book shop. End up i didn't get any book for myself today. Maybe this is relationship improvement plan without honest, loyal, love and trust. Some books make people lost their dependencion and believe. Before I was corrupted myself, I leave the book shop and get a cigarette.

对马六甲此情不渝

马 六甲，这是我出生成长的地方．虽然是个小城市，却有无尽的吸引力，精彩让我去发掘．可惜往往当地人总是不去探讨她的魅力和价值．认为这无聊没有乐趣的地 方．三十年呆在马六甲不代表你了解马六甲有三十年．以下是我消遣时写我对马六甲的专情．虽然写的不是很健全专业，但是很多都认遗忘了．你还记得多少呢？

不一样的马六甲
细说历史，回顾旧照。
2007大马旅游年：一切尽在马六甲

Malacca, a town I grown with love.
This a town where I was born and grown. Even it just a small city but with a lot of passion, attraction to lets me go exploring. Unlikely most local people can't understand her and does not discuss her charm and value. The time to spend does not mean that how much you know. Below links are what i had write about her at pastime. I might not a professional writer but many thing was forgotten. How much you still remember?
Something you may not know about Malacca
Historical pictures with stories
2007 Malaysia tourism year : All in Malacca

重新看过这本书

我的积分和山洞太差了。尤其是第三十一页。实实在在地就想你在对我说。难道我白读了这本书，严重地自我检讨中。为了她，我会再读十遍确定我不会忘记里面所说的。可惜里头没有说如何在火星大战一场。

在整理你的积分时，我会把它分成两种。一种不只是属于我和你的，放进箱子收起来。另一种呢是只属于你和我的，我会好好照顾的。

我把我只在乎你的贴子删除了，发觉那首歌并不适合我或你。

Again and read this book.

My "point system" and "Cave" was too bad. Specially on the page 31, just like you standing in front of me. I had wasted my time to read this book early because i didnt completely understand it. Seriously under self-criticism. For her, I will read this book ten times to make sure i wont forget it again. Unfortunately this book didnt tell me how to war at MARS.

During sort out your system point, I will sparately them to two kind. One kind is not just belong you and me, keep it in box. Example the photo inside your card folder, Donald, a can of paper star, red parker pen and more. Another one which just belong you and me, I will take good care.

I was deleted the "About the title" thread. I feeling that song not suitable for you or me.

I am sorry

No matter what. I still need to say sorry to you. I am sorry on my mistake, my careless, my words, my stubborn and my ego. I am sorry that i loose you and I am sorry that i didnt flood your life with flowers. I am sorry i cant keep my promises. I am sorry... Sarang Heyo

鱼对水说，你看不到我的眼泪因为我在水中。
水回答说，我能感觉到你的眼泪因为你在我心中。

马六甲街道的声音

昨 天去看了一本书，Malacca, voices from the street。内容很丰富解说不少马六甲各街道的近代历史，有两百多张的彩色相片。有没落的黄昏行业等在不久会消失的景象。这本书的两位作者都不是马六甲 人，一名槟城人及另一名葡萄牙人编写的。价钱马币一百九十。。。好贵。
http://www.malaccavoices.com/index.html

昨 天也好想打电话给你说，是时候让我自己好好地休息了。我没有尽力去做我应该做的事，因为很多红色地带。表面上我是你的男朋友，所以我接受你在告知他人时 候把所有责任推卸于我。一开始我就已经注定是个牺牲者，失败者。我愿意离开这游戏因为我到现在都不知道在扮演什么角色。最终我是个坏角色，我不介意去承担 这些错误。因为好人要用很多谎话去掩饰他的过错。

找寻答案的时候，我发现了两点。
一，你的生活圈子好小。
二，在你周围还有两位以上的仰慕者但没种去追求你的人。

今天将把主题改为Voices from the ericsow.

Voices from the street, Malacca.
Yesterday read about book, Malacca, voices from the street. It has substantial content about Malacca old street lately history with two hundred plus colour photo. Both of the authors not Malaccan, one from penang another one is ordinary portuguese. It cost RM190.... very expensive.
http://www.malaccavoices.com/index.html

At the mean time, I tried to call you to let you know that. Is time to let myself rest in care. I didnt completely do whatever i have to be done, that is few obstruction areas. As formally i was your boyfriend, I dont mind you put all the blame on me as an excuse. From the very begining, I was doomed as loser, prey. I'm going to quit this game because i cant even to know who am I and where is my part. Lastly, I am bad guy, I willing to be and accept any blame and censure. Because a good guy need a lot of lies to conceals his mistake.

I found few points during the time i looking for truth.
1, Your life circle not that big, consider small.
2, Two and above of admirers are around you but coward.

Today, I'm changing the topic as "Voices from the ericsow."

消失中的记忆

这间坐落在板底街的校服店就快成为马六甲历史。小时候所穿的校服都是在这里买的，因为买不起美轮那名牌货。白衣蓝裤，这是多么旧的记忆。难道是在失去的时候，才发觉以前没有珍惜过?还是因为失去就代表着没有好好珍惜过。

是天长日久，还是曾经拥有。珍惜。。。

Disappearing memories in town.
This uniform shop located at Jalan Kampung Pantai going be a part of history at Melaka. I used to get my school uniform from this shop when i was young. Because cant afforted to get it from branded shop. White shirt with blue short pant, this was a long time memories in my mind. Is the time which loses then to realise didnt cherished before? Or it means you lose it because you didnt cherished at all.

Forever eternally, neither once before. Appreciating...

分手后就要嫖妓吗？

当 与朋友说我和女友分手的时候，总有一两位朋友（包括女性）问起如何面对这感情的挫折。是否有什么方法发泄本身的压力及心理的平衡，结果他们是叫我去招嫖妓 女或着以为是那样能让自己在生理及心理上疏解。我的天啊，我沦落到这种地步了吗？还真拿这班猪朋狗友没办法。哈哈哈。。。

最无奈的，相信亲戚朋友很快准备了为我安排相亲了。 那老阿麻马上问我考虑她的外孙女。真不知道要笑还是哭好。

Look for prostitute after break off.
When with the friend said I and my girlfriend bid good-bye, some of them (Included female) asked how am i faces this sentimental the setback. Whether has any method to give vent to itself pressure and the psychological. The result they are call me move to chase women the prostitute or to think is such can let oneself clears out in the my physiology and the psychology status. Oh my god, am I that bad to this kind of situation? Also really cant stand with this class piggie doggie friends means. Hahaha...

However, I am believe some people starting prepare make match date for me. That Lao Ah Ma even ask me to consider her grand daughter. Really did not know must smile or tear.

卫塞节，佛教。

从小就经常在寺庙长大，看的，明白的事都很多。或许我不再是诚心的膜拜者，但是不代表佛法不在我心中。佛教禁止问事，烧冥纸，画符等非佛法的教义动作。

如果说诚信，我是一名修行者去实现佛法的大意， 拯救有困难的人。所以我经常定期捐血，帮助身边的人。给于他们我的知识让他们能够站起来。直到有那么一天，我能站在佛祖前说，地狱已经空了。我不是菩萨，可能我是阿修罗（Ashura)。不停地在战斗中。

放宽看世界，发觉在这世界上还有很多人还在受苦中。我尽我的能力去为这世界做点努力。相信这会胜于初一十五的膜拜。因此，我已经是一名艾滋病义工了。让心中有五色旗，也让其他的生命充满五颜六色的精彩。

Wesak Day, Buddhist.
On grows up since childhood in the temple, I am look clear on all matter with understood. Perhaps I may no longer am sincere prayer on buddha. But this didnt mean that I am not. Buddha restricted to do quest, burning paper, spell on paper which those not Buddhist dharma

If about my sincere, I am a follower to follow the buddhist dharma, save those people in hard life. That's why i always donated my blood, helping anyone around me. Give all my knowledge to let me stand up by own. Someday, I will stand in front of Buddha and say, the Hell is empty. I am not a term applied to a kindhearted person. Maybe I am Ashura, still fighting for something.

View the life wisely, you may realized there are so many people still suffering for breathing and survive. I cant changed the fact but at least i do something to change. I believe that this effort more than praying twice in a month. I am MAC volunteer, Malaysian AIDS Council. Make my heart with five colour flag and colourful others people's life.

Pudding

Today brought a cup of pudding from hawker. It taste worse like plain water.

I am missing your own made pudding. It is delicious pudding i ever have and always in my mind. It even better that the restaurant which i worked before. You still the best.

Wondering when can i have this best pudding in the world again.

Hit the nail on the head

After that day talk with Michelle, she really hit the nail on the head. I am agreed with her about what make my ego and stubbornness. Rather than you just repeating same two words on me like judgement. At least, she let me know what i did and i have chance to explain or argue.

My explaination, I am refused to be like someone because I want to be someone is different, the one and truthly myself. And i am defeating your comparing on my thing that I giving to you. Don't you know i always show you something different and special rather than the copycat?

That is communication problem, on you or me? What i know is, you still not telling me the truth. And i have to find out myself like puzzle.

(Sorry, today no chinese version)

黄丝带

每一个人在人生都会犯错，这不是大问题。最恐怖的是犯错后不知道如何走回对路，一路错下去。这黄丝带的意思是，去接受犯过错误的人，给他机会改过自新。同时也代表在他身边的人会永远支持他，对他不离不弃。

另一意思是，所有爱你的人，关心你的人都在等你回家。

Yellow Ribbon
Each person can make mistakes in the life,this is not the major problem. After most terrorist is makes mistakes and did not know how turns back satisfies the need, with no help. This yellow ribbon means, accepts who ever which has made a mistake, for him/her opportunity start with a clean slate. At the same time also represents anyone beside him/her can forever support him, always and never leave him/her alone.

Another means of yellow ribbon is a sign of loyalty to family, friends or loved ones who are welcome home.

技术更正及更新

前几天IE用户无法游览此网站的问题已经处理好了。同时也加上英文翻译。（不是翻译的很好，请见谅）

Technical issue and update.
IE user was unable to brower this web page at past few days. This porblem was resolved. At the meantime, added english translation on all topic. ( I am not good in translation,sorry)

辛苦的日子。

当人面对辛苦的日子的时候，总是觉得垂丧失去目标。我觉得这不代表是痛苦困难的时候，而是因为你曾经有过开心快乐的日子。世界不是灰色的，不要绝望。因为这世界上有许多人靠着微弱的呼吸延续自己的生命，也从不觉得生活的辛苦。你是如何看这生命的意义？

写着这部落时，我经常尝试以宽远的角度去了解一件事。除了充实自己的知识，也充实了自己的时间。

Hard time on those days.
Most of the people while having hard time in their life, always think about upset and lost his objective. I thought this does not represent is painful difficult time, But is because you have had the happy joyful day before. The world is not pessimistic,do not feel despair. Because in this world has many people to close right up against the light breath to continue own life, and never feel tough. How do you are look at this life the significance?

While writing this blog, I attempt frequently by the width far angle understand a matter. This help me to enriches my own knowledge, and also enriched my time.

期待还是等待

不 知不觉中，我一直看着手机电话。看是否有任何简讯或来电，而且期望是来自你。原来我已经习惯了收看你的简讯。同时它也越来越不争气，时不时地关掉。充电了 又充电还是一样。难道就快报销了吗？这几年里我坚持不换手机的原因有，里头有很多你的简讯。没有中文系统就不会让你觉得我隐藏了什么。因为你不会中文。

今天我取消了健身院的会员，那是我在去年八月三十一日签下的。知道你希望我有更有形的身段而买下的配套。也就是我没有给你的两周年纪念日的礼物。下午领取了我第一张信用卡，那是我们计划去旅行时申请的。现在也没有用了，打算封了它免得我财务出现赤字。


I am looking forward or wait for a chance
Unconsciously ,I look at the handset continuously. Looked whether has any new sms or incoming called ,Moreover the expectation is comes from you. A habit for so long time along those days. At the same time it also switches off itself once for a while. Keep charging it still remian same problem. Is it going reimbursed soon? In these years I persisted does not trade the handset the reason is, inside it has many of your sms. Does not have the Chinese system not to be able to let you think I hid any, because of you don't understand chinese.

Today I have cancelled the membership of fitness club. That was signed in last August 31. Knew you hoped I have a more visible figure and i get this package. Also is I has not given your second anniversary commemoration day gift。

Has received my first credit card in the afternoon。That is we plans travels time applies。Now has not used, plan sealed it so as to avoid my finance to have the deficit。

行尸走肉的日子

除了克制心情的起伏不定，日子也变得空洞。今天竟然可以坐在电脑前发呆三小时。当我发觉后，决定繁密地计划自己一天所需要做的事。免得虚度日子也无法挽回改变事实。俗语说，吃不饱，睡不香，穿不温。人始终还是血肉之身，感情也不能潇洒地控制。


自然轻松地描述能平淡我心里的起伏。摘至一本小说里的对白，“虽然地狱之火燃烧着我，但是我还是向往天堂的道路。”

Those days i am lost.
Lately take hard to changing the my emotion, the day seem to be empty. Today i am sitting in front of my PC for three hours with nothing to do. I was realized that i need do something to full fill my day. No point to keep dreaming alone which not help myself. Makan tak kenyang, tidur tak mimpi, mandi tak basah. Human still made by blood and soul, cant over customized their feel.

The nature with ease describes can be light in my heart the fluctuation. Picks from a novel in the dialogue,"Although fire of the hell is burning on me But I yearn for the heaven the path”.

跳越三级烟民

曾暗地里去寻找戒烟计划，希望能在一起生活的时候。你再不会抱怨烟味的踪迹。始终你还是给我烟不离手的借口。或许我应该好好为自己健康想想，而不是为去满足某方面。希望我的觉悟是在我得肺癌前。

今天的烟量实在恐怖，三包六十支。这是我平时的七八倍。天啊。。。看来要进行经济封锁来克制自己的烟量。再者改变个人的生活方式。(这需要高尚的人生目标）我有那么清高吗？需要自我检讨。

Upgraded to 3rd class smoker.
Once secretly sought the no-smoking plan. Hope that you wont complaint to my clothe smell when we are living together. Unfortunately you was gave me a better excuse to take it. Maybe i should have better motivation think about it for myself and not for someone. Hope I can make it before too late.

Today i am took a lot of cigarette, sixty stick in a day, oh my... that is seven or eight times i has normally. Planned to use financial control to prevent this happen again, or i should totally change my life style.( this need strongest mind set) Do i have it, make a self-criticism.

忍着一切从这里开始

五月三日正式为这里记录着我对晓萍过去三年来的点点滴滴。不是旧事重提，也不是为了要赢赚你的泪水。这是一种让我慢慢消除心里的痛，一种回忆录。逝去的爱始终永远不会回来。哪怕等到有一天的海枯石烂的时候，我的心再痛也会停止流泪了。

无巧不成书，我们分手的那天竟然是我们相识了1225天。是命中注定吗？

还真担心我是否能写下去，我会尽量撑着。你也不要输我哦。加油！站起来。


Hold for this openning.
3rd May, starting this blog for my memorial with Jess. Not to remind or get your tear from you. This is just a way for me to erase my pain in this period. Love is over, one day this will over and ended.

Cant believe that we just passed 1225 days. Is it a fate?

I do my best to keep update here even i am doubt to myself and dont know how long this will last. i am gonna make it. You too, Jia you and stand up!